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The Awkward Gardener

The Awkward Gardener

Creating a small London garden requires a sense of humour

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Category: Progress Update

Posted on 7 July, 20197 July, 2019

The 7 triumphs and 6 frustrations of my summer garden

Forgive the tardiness, but the sun is out and I have been gardening like Vita Sackville West on crack. (Which is how she liked things, apparently.)

It has been a sometimes frustrating, sometimes triumphant, spring and early summer. Let me share what I’ve been up to.

Continue reading “The 7 triumphs and 6 frustrations of my summer garden”
Posted on 7 April, 20197 July, 2019

In which three heroes save our princess from gardening’s peaks and troughs

east london funny garden blog, overhead view of the two water troughs in place.

We’ve been to the hospital three times since Christmas.

Upon reflection, it is a miracle the garden only caused one of those visits. The first two times were for my partner, who’d managed to be both ill and injured – in that order. The third time… well, I’ll get to that.

Continue reading “In which three heroes save our princess from gardening’s peaks and troughs”
Posted on 12 February, 20197 April, 2019

With ferns in my woodland and revenge in my heart

Humorous gardening blog london small terrace garden photo of Pablo the Corgi beside the lush green ferns in the newly planted woodland garden.

I have a few things I need to get off my chest, so this post is as much confessional as it is a gardening blog.

Topics include poop (of course), disappointing my father, and my petty but deeply satisfying campaign of vengeance against Blue Van Man.

Grab yourself a cup of tea.

Continue reading “With ferns in my woodland and revenge in my heart”
Posted on 29 December, 20187 April, 2019

It is not allowed to mix cement on the highway

London garden small neighbour dispute 7

I am not, by nature, a lawbreaker. But circumstances have driven me to it.

And when I say circumstances, I really mean “admin”. But also, dickheads.

It has been a bizarre month around the old campfire, resulting in brushes with the neighbours, the local council and the law.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Continue reading “It is not allowed to mix cement on the highway”

Posted on 21 October, 20187 April, 2019

Good fences and good neighbours

Small east london garden front wall project 11

We don’t fuck around in East London. As will become abundantly clear in a minute. But first, I want to indulge in some poetry.

Continue reading “Good fences and good neighbours”

Posted on 8 October, 20187 April, 2019

Ferns, felines and inordinate feculence

Small east london back garden garrya

Sorry for the lack of posts. We have become parents and it is beyond exhausting.

Continue reading “Ferns, felines and inordinate feculence”

Posted on 27 August, 20187 April, 2019

This is not the top-dressing I had in mind

Two ways to stop cats from pooping in your garden 2

I can see my neighbour’s pussy out the window.

Continue reading “This is not the top-dressing I had in mind”

Posted on 16 August, 20187 April, 2019

I’m afraid there have been casualties

small london backyard cutting out shrub

We’ve moved in. The renovations are complete, the moving boxes are gone and we’re finally living in the house.

Continue reading “I’m afraid there have been casualties”

Posted on 3 June, 20187 April, 2019

We got the keys! Let me show you what I’m working with

small awkward london garden front yard 1

A few days ago, we finally got the keys to our new home. It’s a gorgeous little 1904-built brick terrace on a sweet, tree-lined, residential East London street.

Continue reading “We got the keys! Let me show you what I’m working with”

Recent Posts

  • Awkward Gardener’s Question & Answer Time – December 2019
  • The 7 triumphs and 6 frustrations of my summer garden
  • In which three heroes save our princess from gardening’s peaks and troughs
  • With ferns in my woodland and revenge in my heart
  • It is not allowed to mix cement on the highway

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This blog chronicles my mission to turn a small, awkward, shady patch of East London into a beautiful garden.

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